You can figure out the answer by asking him a few well-targeted questions.
“It’s all about knowing how to ask and what to look for in his answers,” says Debbie Magids, PhD, author of All the Good Ones Aren’t Taken.
Of course, the situation should not be as if you were interrogating him, but rather like a casual chit-chat.
Just remember not to force him into a corner.
The first thing you have to learn yourself is to LISTEN & PAY ATTENTION to him.
So here are the questions:
Do you like what you do?
"The important thing to ask is 'Do you like what you do?'" says Bob Berkowitz, PhD, coauthor of Why Men Stop Having Sex. "So much can follow naturally from his answer."
It might turn out that his career path doesn't match the lifestyle you imagined for yourself, e.g. he is planning to grow potatos in a countryside farm, while you'd rather live a city life in a high-rise building.
Or, if he replies that he is always overwhelmed with work, but doesn't mind, because it is all fun for him - He sounds like a beginner workaholic. You can expect feeling alone and lonely later in your relationship.
What was his last relationship like?
"Tell him 'You're such a cool guy. What kind of girl would let you get away?'" Berkowitz suggests, "It's a compliment that also leads to discussion."
If he starts badmouthing his ex and put all the blame on her, he could equally have been the part of the problem due to his huge ego. It takes two to tango. Does he speak about her with respect, pointing out a few reasons, preferably on BOTH sides, why the relationship didn't work? He's the man to keep!
How does he manage money?
"How he manages money is a bigger indicator of character than how much he has," Magids says. "It shows if he takes the responsibility for his actions. "Talking about the economy is an easy way to shift the convo toward finances. Then zero in on bills saying, "I'm so happy I just paid off my credit cards. Have you run up any debt on those things?"
The "smart debts" are constructive, act as an investment for the future. Take student loans, for instance. They'll pay out. However, going broke due to "investments" in the latest "must-have" gadgets show that he is still a child and not financial responsible. You can expect to pay up his debts for him if staying in the relationship.
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